Getting through a break-up can be one of the most painful things. Whatever well-meaning friends say, or what clichés we tell ourselves, the process is hard.
With Valentine’s Day looming, break-ups can seem especially difficult, no matter how long ago the relationship ended.
Don’t take it personally
When someone leaves you, it’s hard not to take it personally. It can leave you feeling worthless and crush your self-esteem.
Being the one who does the breaking-up isn’t necessarily any easier though. Feelings of guilt and second-guessing your decision can make the process of moving-on quite difficult.
Make time for friends
Don’t allow the end of a relationship to stop you from seeing friends. While you might not feel like rushing out and socialising, isolating yourself can leave you feeling worse.
Break-ups can leave a huge gap in our day-to-day life. Being around friends or family and filling spare time with activities you enjoy can help to stop you pining for the past or worrying about the future.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda…
Try not to dwell on all the reasons your relationship broke down. Spending too much time thinking about what could have gone differently can make you feel worse.
Of course it’s important to get things out of your system. But talking things through with friends or family can be a better release than over-analysing by yourself.
Everyone heals at their own pace. Don’t compare how long it took someone else to get over their break-up. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone, if you feel hurt by the ending of a relationship, allow yourself to experience these emotions.
Give yourself space and time to grieve for your relationship. It’s OK to miss someone or to feel disappointed things didn’t work out.
Stirring up feeling
Breaking-up with someone can stir up all kinds different emotions and insecurities. Take a step back and try and focus on the reason you’re feeling hurt.
If you find you’re overwhelmed after a break-up don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It’s easy to fall into negative ways of thinking about yourself after the ending of a relationship. It can be helpful to try and focus on the positive aspects of yourself and engage in positive self-talk and thoughts instead.
Don’t let breaking up with someone damage how you feel about who you are. Have a look at minding your mental health for ideas on how to get on better with yourself, it’s the most important relationship we’ll ever have.